Dougy Mak’s Blog

I had the worst headache in my life yesterday night. I came home with my throbbing head pain and thought about taking a Tylenol, but I didn’t think I wouldn’t need it since it is usually gone by my wakening. I went to sleep hoping it will slowly dissolve away, but it just ruined my whole night of sleep. Tossing and turning, and constantly waking, I felt such pain as if I was going to drop dead. I still feel minor pain and minor strain and tension around my neck. Horrible headache. Pops a Tylenol. While I doubt it was caused by our dinner at Chevys, the food there was displeasing. I haven’t ate there for 5 years or so, and it was a great opportunity to bring my girl friend since she had never ate there before. Anyways, after my meal, I felt like crap. Normally, I wouldn’t get this “crap” feeling after a extensive large meal especially when it’s fresh and healthy. Feeling like crap after a meal is my body’s way of telling me this food is crap. Going to Chevys served as a reminder for why I never went back in the past years and a reminder to me for why I choose local joints over chains any day.

Well, I know I have been letting myself go lately. I guess it has to do with my hectic life lately. I mean, DAMN the last two months of my life has been so everything lately (it’s a good thing ). I never realized this before, but I think I have a tendency eat when I need to relax my mind, body, emotions, and everything. Anywho, I know not everyone is able to notice if their body is different or not, but I am able to. I can tell if I gained weight or not just by looking at my naked self in the mirror, then I confirm my observative guess by getting on the weight scale. So, yeah… I am not going to starve myself at all, I am just going to stop falling for my temptations and cravings. 10 pounds can be gone in a week (by the end of spring break), simple, at least for me it is.

Lately, I’ve been waking up a few times in the middle of the night. It’s odd, but I wake up just to check my phone to see if I missed a call or anything. yupyup, just wanted to share that with whoever.

Yesterday, it was brought to my attention how different two people can be, and I was trying to ask the other person to do something that is out of his/her nature. Well, eitherway, I learned from that and I won’t do it next time. I didn’t get it right the first time, but I will get it right the 2nd, 3rd, and other times. Learn from your mistakes, and continue to fail, and learn.

Man, it’s so tough to sort out my thoughts sometimes. Like, I have so much going on. I know what I want, but I do not know what should I do to get what I want right now. So sorting my thoughts is a good start, but I still am not able to lead to myself to my answer, but sometimes you just don’t need to find the answer, and just let time show you the answer. So… time… it’s up to you to give me the answer, don’t take too long.

I’ve always said to myself, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Yesterday, I discovered a fatal flaw in this. The truth is, when you prepare for the worst, it means you are planning to fail. What I should be telling my self is… Be aware of the worst scenario, and plan for the best. This way, it shows that I am planning to succeed, and at the same time you won’t fall hard when your worst situation comes. So, I need to be more optimistic by not only hoping for the best, but planning for the best. With that said, I hope things come out well after spring break. :]

Yesterday, I recieved this letter with a pikachu, and the content of it made me realize that I’ve come a long way and improved a lot since summer of 08. It’s definitely a good thing, and I want to look make sure I mark this day (yesterday) in my blog.

My favorite line, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I am prepared for the worst, but I don’t know when to give up. So even when I fall, I’ll get back up and continue moving forward. In life and in general, you have to strive and make an effort for the things you want. Even when you think it’s impossible, when the situation seems hopeless, or when you feel like everything’s against you, you must try and continue to try. You will never know until you try. There’s nothing to lose in trying except for the chance that you never took to try. If you’re scared of negatively hurting yourself in anyway or if you are scared of failing, then you won’t get anywhere. You won’t progress in anyway, and stay in the same spot until you take that first step to try. When you fail, you don’t stop on your first failure, you learn from it and continue to move forward again. This is not a perfect world. You have to fail before you can succed. Even the most successful people have failed, and they’ve probably even failed a lot more than most people. With that said, I am glad I tried the things I did in the past month and when/if failure comes… I’m ready.

So, one of the things in life I have a hard time doing is to let go- I am still learning to “let go”. I have a tendency to be really persistant on things that may not make sense to me, but I guess I should not need to know unless it’s ACTUALLY important. So I am still learning to let go of the little things. Sometimes, not everything has to make sense? I am still trying to discover, for myself, the border between must know, and just let go.

On a side note, I learned two new words: Onerous, and Chargin. These words are so awesome, I am going to try to incorporate it into my future essays.

Chagrin – disquietude or distress of mind caused by humiliation, disappointment, or failure. (MW)
Onerous - involving, imposing, or constituting a burden : troublesome. (MW)

Sometimes, you got to stop thinking and just stick to the original plan and carry through. Remind yourself that.